Deadpan Alley

Enough already!

2010-10-24T10:42:00.003-04:00

I'll be so glad when the election season is over. I'm so sick of seeing/hearing distorted facts and twisted propaganda. It's getting ridiculous.

And it's not like we have options here for the Senate race in West Virginia, anyway. You either vote for the awful guy, or the slightly less awful guy. There is no viable candidate who would represent what I believe and want and hope for Congress to achieve. This year, I'll be voting against the worst of the two, but not for the one I want to win.

Sad, really. And just think, we get to do it all again in two years!

One....step....closer....

2010-03-01T19:50:00.004-05:00

Today was a major day in our battle for an updated kitchen. After almost three months of having no sink in our kitchen, victory is ours!

The installers did their magic today, and put in our new countertop and sink. Then, on very short notice, the plumbers came out and got everything working. Huzzah!!

Check it out:

Ain't it purty???

The main projects left now are a new floor, a tile backsplash, and putting in the toekick.

Again with the kitchen

2010-01-02T23:21:00.004-05:00

The holiday weekend has given us bonus time to work on the kitchen. I was doing something similar this time last year. Out with the old and in with the new - it's the perfect theme for a changing year.

We still have some hurdles to overcome, including the sink cabinet. Oy, pipes! And it will be several weeks after we're done with the cabinets before we can get a countertop installed. But that gives me additional time to obsess over what backsplash to choose.

Here are some more pictures:

Wall cabinets are IN!

2009-12-27T21:52:00.006-05:00

Thanks to Tina and Aaron, we have our upper cabinets installed! Behold - it almost looks like a kitchen again!

All that's left are the base cabinets, the flooring, the countertop and sink, the backsplash and finishing touches... Okay, so we're not there yet, but this is progress!!

No title

2009-12-21T22:52:00.004-05:00

Dull gray skies
and snow covered ground.

It's a monochromatic world and I
struggle to feel anything but black or white.

'Tis the season to feel melancholy.

Where did my kitchen go?

2009-12-06T16:57:00.008-05:00

Last night, the kitchen looked like this:

Today, the demolition crew came, and removed the cabinets and pantry, so that we have room to put the new pretty IKEA cabinets in. So now it looks like this:

So we have no sink, no kitchen to speak of, other than a fridge and gas stove. I see lots of take out in our very near future.

Knowledge is a Dangerous Thing

2009-11-27T06:16:00.000-05:00

Knowledge is a Dangerous Thing

More Project Kitchen

2009-11-23T06:22:00.002-05:00

Half our cabinets are assembled. I ran out of room to keep making cabinets, so we're going to work on the left side of the kitchen. This involves tearing out the pantry, removing the old cabinets (and finding them a home), and installing the new stuff.

Then we'll focus on getting the right side done. And then someone can measure for our countertop, so that four to six weeks later, we should have an updated kitchen!

I am so excited. (And I just can't hide it.) Pictures will be coming soon.

Project Kitchen!

2009-10-10T13:13:00.007-04:00

I'll admit it. For the last year (maybe two), I have been 'et up' with the thought of remodeling my kitchen. The long hours spent planning and researching and obsessing have brought me to this latest combination of cabinet/backsplash/countertop.
I'm sold on the idea of an IKEA kitchen. That entails either (a) traveling to Pittsburgh, Charlotte or Cincinnati and renting a truck to haul everything home, or (b) ordering by phone or online and having it shipped here. Neither option is inexpensive, but I expect that we will save over $8,000 in the long run. Most of the savings will come from us assembling and installing everything but the countertop.

Brad and I have put a lot of sweat equity into the house this year. We pulled up carpet and were rewarded with nice hardwood floors underneath. We redid the walls in the dining room and living room. And after the kitchen is done, we still want to replace our deck, stain the exterior of our house, and put tile floors in several rooms of the house. We also need to put something on our downstairs walls where our cat has decimated the nice cork tiles. But you know what? It's about time. In the ten years we've lived here, other than painting, we haven't done much to the place. Normal wear-and-tear (plus two kids and an evil cat) has definitely taken its toll.

So what color would you suggest for the kitchen walls? Floor? Encouragement and criticism are welcome.

You say "Toe-MAY-toe"

2009-08-26T07:27:00.002-04:00

Inscription

2009-08-23T11:38:00.003-04:00

Pine Grove Cemetery, Ravencliff

Located on Wyoming County Rt. 1, 10 mi. past intersection of Rt. 10 & Rt. 1 (1 mi. past Ravencliff, WV), behind Pine Grove Baptist Church (organized 1869), situated on left hillside.

At foot a marble plaque engraved:

Do not stand at my grave & weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am diamonds gift on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain
under gentle autumn's rain.

When you awake in the mornings, hush.
I am the swift rush of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I did not die.

Sharing the Funny

2009-08-03T23:41:00.003-04:00

From The Triumph of Bullshit:

Memento Mori

2009-08-01T20:22:00.004-04:00

On July 31, 2008, my father retired from his job, after a lifetime of working. Exactly one year later, July 31, 2009, he was laid to rest at Crews Cemetery, after losing his battle with pulmonary fibrosis.

He had such great plans for retirement. He loved to hunt and fish. He wanted to travel and see more of the country, especially to visit historic Civil War battlefields and other places that history was made. He wanted to spend time with his grandchildren, and he especially looked forward to teaching his grandson how to fish, how to hunt, how to go camping and be completely self-sufficient on nature. He wanted to become a fishing instructor.

Not even a month after he retired, he began to suffer from dyspnea.

When he realized that his time was short, and became unable to get around, much less do any of the things he had counted on doing after retirement, he gave me these words of advice: Make hay while the sun shines. Don't make all your plans for the far-away future. Carpe diem, seize the day. You never know what the future brings.

I plan to make some changes in my life. I'm going to enjoy the 'now'. The Flaming Lips sing that "all we have is now, all we ever have is now." Very true. The past is gone, and the future is no guarantee. I will enjoy my family. I'll travel more, eat at my favorite restaurants more often. I will spend more time with my friends.

Here are some excerpts from my father's obituary:

Arnold Roy Keaton of Glasgow passed away peacefully at home Sunday, July 26, 2009, in the company of family, after battling pulmonary fibrosis. He was 61.
Born July 3, 1948 in Hotchkiss, Arnold was the son of the late Roy and Irma Cook Keaton.
He grew up in Jumping Branch and lived in Beckley. He served his country in the United States Air Force and worked as a professional engineer for Cannelton Coal Company, as well as the West Virginia Bureau for Public Health.
He was an avid hunter and fisherman, enjoyed crossword puzzles, cryptograms, bluegrass music, Civil War research, genealogy, and Scrabble, and collected antique mining paraphernalia.
In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made to either the American Diabetes Association or the Pulmonary Fibrosis Foundation.
The family also requests that you consider becoming an organ donor.

A Glimmer of Hope

2009-06-19T07:29:00.003-04:00

As it stands now, my dad has an appointment next month to be evaluated for the lung transplant waiting list at the University of Maryland Medical Center. They are making amazing strides in the field of pulmonology. They are now using the first portable lung. They did a study which showed that inhaled anti-rejection drugs for lung transplant patients increase survival rates tremendously.

There is still a very strong chance that Dad will not be allowed on the transplant list, since he had a small malignant tumor on his lung back in October. But I am very thankful that the specialists at UMM are willing to take the time to look at him. That's a lot more than we've gotten from many other transplant centers near us.

As a follow-up to a post from a few months ago, my sisters and I would not be considered good candidates for living lobular donation. Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis is considered to be hereditary in some cases, and should we be so unfortunate as to acquire this horrible disease, we would need our entire lung function.

Don't Think Twice, It's Alright

2009-06-06T20:55:00.003-04:00

My dad always used to play a tune on the guitar. I never knew what it was, so in my head I referred to it as 'Dad's song'.

Today, he gave me his guitar. While we were looking at it, he was asked to play something, and lucky for me, he chose that song. I asked him what it was, and he told me, "Don't Think Twice, It's Alright" which was written by Bob Dylan, but covered by lots of musicians.

This clip is not my Dad. I found it on YouTube. But it sounds the closest to the way Dad played it.

Tax Day Cometh!

2009-04-11T15:08:00.001-04:00

Serious Stuff

2009-04-07T18:46:00.007-04:00

It's been a tough year.

My dad has been diagnosed with Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. He has 35% lung capacity and is dependent upon oxygen. He can only walk short stretches before having to stop and catch his breath. He needs a lung transplant.

Last year, as part of the diagnostic process of this health issue, he got a PET scan. The results showed a very small spot on one of his lungs that turned out to be malignant. He was fortunate to have caught the cancer so early, in Stage 1-B. The surgery to remove it went very well. Since then he has completed his radiation therapy, and is considered to be cancer-free.

Unfortunately though, to get on a lung transplant list, one has to have been cancer-free for anywhere from two to five years. I don't think my dad can wait that long.

My sisters and I have been researching transplant centers across the country. Fortunately, there are quite a few facilities that are relatively close. Some of them will perform a procedure called Living Lobular Lung Donation, which involves taking lobes from two living donors to transplant into one recipient. My two sisters and I are very hopeful that this is the answer. There are three of us - and surely two of us would be potential matches. We are all very willing to give.

We haven't mentioned this to Dad yet. We want our case to be airtight, we want to have all the answers, all the right things to say in response to his protests. This procedure is a very low risk for donors. After donating a lobe, one's lung capacity is only decreased by 15%. And it will make a world of difference in the life of the recipient.

Thar Be Hardwoods Here!

2009-03-08T16:38:00.005-04:00

We did it! Yesterday Brad and I pulled up our old carpet and found hardwood floors in decent condition!

I'm now trying to figure out what our next step should be. The floors really need to be cleaned, but I'm not sure what to use to clean them. How you clean them depends on how they're finished. I'm not sure what was used to finish the floors years ago before they were buried under wall-to-wall carpet.

One site says vinegar is the best thing to clean hardwood floors. Another says to never use vinegar, under any circumstances. This site says Murphy's Oil Soap is the way to go. But this one says that's the worst thing you can do.

Grumble. I'm sore. And I hate not knowing what to do.

But the floors are very nice.

The Album Cover Meme

2009-03-03T21:13:00.003-05:00

Here's a bit that's made its rounds on the interwebs, now recycled for your amusement:

Create your own album cover.

The name of the band is based on a random Wikipedia page.
The last four words of the very last quotation on the Random Quotations page is the title of your album.
The third picture in Flickr’s Interesting Photos From The Last 7 Days will be your album cover.
Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result.

I'll Take Swords for 200, Alex

2009-02-26T16:35:00.001-05:00

A while back, as I enjoyed a post by one of my favorite bloggers (and good friend) Spinster Girl, I decided to get brave and join in on the action. Better late than never, right? So here goes:

Ten things I love that begin with the letter 'S':

1. Sarcasm - One of my all-time favorite 'Kids in the Hall' sketches is the bit where Dave Foley's character is inflicted with the speech impediment of having everything he says sound as if he's being sarcastic. Being funny while sarcastic is very difficult, but the payoff is a comedic rarity. Being an ackjass while sarcastic is much much easier, but who wants to be an ack-jass?

2. Scrabble - My dad taught me to play Scrabble when I was six years old. I was lucky enough to marry a man who also appreciates my love for this game. I dare say his devotion to the game has grown stronger than mine over the years, as he started the first Scrabble club in West Virginia. We get to steal a weekend away to a tournament every few months, and get to spend quality time with some of the friends we've made in this community.

3. Stripes - If you looked in my closet, you'd find shirts with wide stripes, narrow stripes, horizontal stripes (not flattering), vertical stripes, diagonal stripes, and stripes in many different colors. I'm sure my attraction to all things stripey says something deep about my psyche, so if you know about that sort of thing, clue me in!

4. Songs - Music is important to me. I find that the older I get, the less new music I allow into my life. I associate music with things of importance that happen in my life, and all it takes are a few notes to whisk me back in time. You know that old hypothetical question that asks, "if you had to pick one, would you rather go blind or deaf?" I would have to go blind.

5. Socks - I love to wear silly, whimsical socks when I get the chance. My favorite pair has (shocker!) multicolored stripes. You'll only find me wearing these socks on cold weekends, along with my favorite jeans and tennies.

6. Supper - I love a good meal. And unfortunately for my waist line, I love food a little too often. Supper is my favorite meal because it draws our household together, at the table, even if it's just for fifteen minutes or so. Usually Brad will start acting silly, and get both the kids laughing, so it's wonderful bonding time for us all.

7. Spiderman - Last week, while in Orlando, I discovered the Spiderman ride at Islands of Adventure, one of the Universal parks. This ride is awesome. So awesome that we rode it seven times. It uses a moveable simulator, 3-D graphics, IMAX screens and other realistic touches that make this ride my favorite, ever.

8. Shopping - There is nothing as liberating for me, as walking into a store (real or online), and browsing around for something to buy. Nine times out of ten I'll leave empty-handed, but I feel empowered just knowing that I could buy something if I wanted to. My latest obsession is IKEA kitchens.

9. Singing - I love to sing. I've done the karaoke thing, which is fun if I'm drunk enough (though I did win the karaoke competition while sober at the Triangle Trifecta in 2007). From time to time I'll make a mental list of all the songs I'll remake on my imaginary first album. For the sake of the general public, I usually restrict my singing to times that I'm alone.

10. Sleep - Really, who out there over the age of 25 doesn't enjoy a good nap? Yawwwwwwwwn.

Interested in continuing this meme? Just ask me for a letter!

There's No Place Like...

2009-02-22T10:56:00.003-05:00

...Orlando, Florida.

The Mister and I traveled to Orlando for a week, in celebration of fifteen (15!!) years of marriage. Long story short, it was amazing.

We got to eat at Emeril's, where I had the best porkchop of my life. We spent a lot of time at the Universal Studios Theme Parks, being razzle-dazzled by their special effects. We traveled to Cocoa Beach, explored the Kennedy Space Center, and got to eat dinner with two seldom-seen and often missed family members.

The weather was pleasant, the crowds were small, the food was good, and I got to spend a week with my favorite person.

Merry Hearts Everywhere!

2009-02-13T22:16:00.002-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

Irritability

2009-02-10T20:40:00.005-05:00

Today was one of those days where everything rubbed me the wrong way. I was that person today - the one who walked too fast with a scowl on my face. I was the one who cussed because the car ahead of me in the parking garage was going too slow.

The noise level around my desk at work was higher than usual (if that's possible).

I ordered lunch from Jimmy John's (the speediest service downtown), and it took them 45 minutes to deliver it. Unfortunately, I had waited until I was really hungry to call in the order.

Again today, parents of three other children in Andrew's preschool class broke the "no toys from home" rule. We stick to that rule in our house, but it's not fair to Andrew, who wonders why other kids get special privileges.

It was like a snowball. The more things happened, the more aggravated I got.

But then I remembered...positive thoughts yield positive results. So I fine-tuned my attitude, and remembered that:

My work load, which ebbs and flows with the trial schedule, just slowed to a trickle.

Today is Tuesday - Brad's night to cook dinner. And he planned ahead, so we had a nice roast waiting for us in the crock pot. (It was delicious.)

It's that magical time of year - tax refund!! Woo-hoo!

I've got some time off for rest and relaxation, just around the bend.

Life, while not perfect, is pretty damn good.

Things that Make Me Laugh

2009-02-05T23:18:00.005-05:00

Click the pictures for more funny goodness from whence they came...

Yo Gobble Gobble!

2009-02-03T21:28:00.003-05:00

To celebrate my son's fourth birthday, we decided to make cupcakes. Yo Gabba Gabba cupcakes, in fact. I have never considered myself to be artistic, so I didn't have high expectations. Then again, preschoolers rarely have high expectations on that sort of thing anyway.

One of my sisters who was helping is a graphic designer, so I knew her "Brobees" would be great. Another sister is very artistic, and I had no doubt she would kick cupcake ass on her "Toodees" as well. Early on, Katie put dibs on "Muno" - the easiest one to decorate -- she's a smart kid -- so that left me with "Foofa".

Andrew spent the evening eating frosting and playing with his new batmobile. We were all really happy with the way the cupcakes turned out:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANDREW!

Now THAT'S Service!

2009-02-03T20:11:00.003-05:00

Last week, I ordered a red comforter for my daughter's new bed. I arranged to have it delivered at home. Imagine my surprise when my husband called from work to tell me that it had just been delivered to him there.

Huh? How in the world did that happen?

About a week before, the UPS guy had delivered a package to our house when Brad was home for lunch.

Later, when the same UPS guy tried to deliver the comforter, nobody was home, so it stayed on the truck. Later that same day, he just happened to drive by the place where Brad works, and he just happened to see Brad's car in the parking lot. (It's pretty recognizable.)

So he made that extra effort, went inside and asked if they had an employee with our last name. Brad was tracked down, and voila! Katie's comforter was delivered.

Now THAT'S service! Thanks UPS!

Google Fail

2009-01-31T10:03:00.006-05:00

Google appears to have some issues this morning. Each search result is saddled with the warning "This site may harm your computer." And Google won't let you click through the warning directly to the page you're looking for.

Click the image for a closer look:

Go With the Flow Chart

2009-01-30T21:07:00.004-05:00

Before you click the link below, answer these three questions:

Do you enjoy intelligent humor?
Are you familiar with a television show from the late 1960's called 'Star Trek'?
Are you ready to laugh?

If so, create your own Trek Adventure!

In fact, the whole Chart Porn site is great! (And porn-free.)

Thanks, Neatorama!

Rocketships!

2009-01-24T21:37:00.007-05:00

Andrew's been learning about lots of things in Preschool.

Last week he learned about rockets. He told me all about the big white rocket that flies up into space and goes around and around, and then lands on the ground...

you know...

...the Space Shovel.

Happy

2009-01-14T21:46:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow is our fifteenth (15th!!) wedding anniversary. WOW!

Andrew: 3-Year-Old Music Critic

2009-01-09T20:24:00.004-05:00

Andrew and I listen to a lot of music while traveling in the car. He's taken to sharing his brutally honest opinion about every cd we listen to, whether I want him to or not. And believe me, he feels pretty strongly about it. Here are some of his thoughts:

The Smithereens - Good stuff! Especially the guitar solos.

Coldplay - Excellent! Although if you switch to another artist at any time, he's gonna throw a fit.

Regina Spektor - He prefers her radio-friendly songs. Her more eclectic stuff is not yet appreciated.

John Mayer - Thumbs down. He will immediately whine and ask for Coldplay.

Smallville (The Talon Mix) - This is quite the hit since I told him that these are the Superman songs. I believe he thinks Superman sings them. That would explain his confusion every time we get to "Don't Dream It's Over" by Sixpence None the Richer.

The Beatles - He only likes their stuff from 1964 to 1966, with the exception of Blackbird and Martha My Dear (both from the White Album).

They Might Be Giants - Awesome!! Second only to...you guessed it...Coldplay.

Duran Duran - He's not a fan. At. All.

Love Actually Soundtrack - I don't know if he dislikes the music on the cd, or if it's his mama's singing along that drives him crazy.

Thievery Corporation - Meh. He prefers Coldplay.

Chris Isaak - Yuck.

Zero 7 - Now that's more like it!

Prince - Purple Rain is great! Anything released after Raspberry Beret is crap.

Should Have Seen That One Coming

2009-01-07T21:17:00.002-05:00

Out With the Old

2009-01-04T17:16:00.011-05:00

...and in with the new. I decided to finally try a home improvement project that I saw on a DIY television show about ten years ago. I figured with the generous days off from work I've been given lately, now was as good a time as any. So I googled "faux leather wall craft paper" and found the instructions I needed.

I had some very dated wallpaper on the dining room walls:

I used a roll of craft paper (a/k/a paper bags) to cover the bottom half of the walls. Small randomly torn pieces were adhered with wallpaper paste. Total time investment: 15 hours.

All the paper was finally on the wall, and I waited for the paste to dry overnight. The next step I took was to apply an acrylic coat to protect the wall from stains. That went much faster, only taking three hours for two coats. [Note: the wall looks really shiny in the pictures, but that's due to the flash from the camera.]

I completely skipped the 'faux painting' part of the project, though I had already invested in paint and glaze. I just don't trust my artistic abilities, and I like the way it looks by itself. I still need to decide on a color for the top half of the wall. I'm leaning toward a muted green. Any suggestions?

Me Too!!

2009-01-03T23:06:00.005-05:00

Globalization and the Information Age - Remixed

2008-12-04T22:46:00.002-05:00

The world we live in keeps changing. That is the only constant.

From geeksaresexy.net:

Growing Pains

2008-11-21T18:35:00.006-05:00

Yesterday, my twelve-year-old daughter had a doctor's appointment, and I had to pick her up early from school. As I walked from the parking lot into the building, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the window. When did I become middle-aged? I was entering a middle school as a parent for cryin' out loud. Cue the horns of defeat.

I can vividly remember being my daughter's age; the angst, the drama, the self-consciousness. I was never comfortable in my own skin, and I wonder if that is a normal rite-of-passage, or if I truly did have body dysmorphic syndrome, as my sisters and I (halfway) joke about. I felt that way until I was well into adulthood. Sometimes it still sneaks up on me and will ruin my day.

I wish she didn't have to endure these next few years, as they will be harder than anything she's ever faced before. Then again, I do want her to be fully prepared to face the world when she leaves us and goes her own way. The harsh tribulations of middle school will toughen her up, for sure. There are few people more judgmental than her peers right now.

Of course, my daughter is beautiful. She completely skipped the awkward goofy-looking stage that trapped her mother for five years, and went straight to tall, slender and stunning. Also, I hear from the interwebs that things are different from when I was an adolescent. Today individuality is accepted and respected, if you're being true to yourself. Back in my day, conformity was the hard fast rule, and if you were different, then woe was you.

Big picture, I know she'll get through it all just fine, because she is beautiful on the inside too. When I took her to the dermatologist yesterday, after a somewhat scary procedure wherein she had a small panicky spell, she apologized to the doctor afterwards, and even gave the doctor a hug to show her appreciation.

Yep! That's my girl. But not for too much longer. She'll be grown before she knows it, wondering where all that time went.

Mon Dieu!

2008-11-15T09:30:00.008-05:00

Remember being a kid and wishing you could control what videos were shown on MTV? Me too. And remember your disappointment as it went from being a video channel to being...well I don't know what it turned into, because I tuned out.

I'm thrilled to learn that MTV has redeemed itself. They now offer online music videos on demand. And they're free.

My preliminary findings show that their video library is quite extensive. And I'm off now to feed my inner eighth-grader.

French Farmer

2008-11-06T18:47:00.003-05:00

I was getting ready for work this morning, when my three-year-old (who is recovering nicely from his pneumonia) stomped into the room, like Frankenstein's monster. I looked over at him and asked, "What in the world are you doing?"

His reply, in a stilted robotic tone: "I...am...a...french...far...mer..."

Not understanding what he was talking about, I asked a few more times, and each time I got the same answer - in an increasingly annoyed tone.

"I...am...a...french...far...mer!"

"I...AM...A...FRENCH...FAR...MER!!!"

Finally, he ran out of the room, and returned with one of his toys.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, gotcha." I really need to brush up on my Andrew-ese.

Tonight's the Night. It's Gonna Be Alright.

2008-11-04T22:54:00.005-05:00

Brad and I are kicked back, watching the election results. It's just been called on MSNBC...our next president will be Barack Obama. (And there was great cheering and celebration all across the globe!!!!!)

Who wants to take a road trip to DC in January?

Rocko Mama

2008-10-30T21:26:00.002-04:00

At present, I'm watching The Rachel Maddow Show on MSNBC.

My son just looked over at me and said, "Mom, I love Rocko Mama."

The Boy Who Couldn't Trick or Treat

2008-10-29T10:37:00.004-04:00

My three-year-old son Andrew has really bad luck when it comes to Halloween.

When he was nine months old, his first Halloween was spent battling pneumonia. He didn't get to be paraded around in a cutesy costume by an overly zealous parent (me). The cutesy little frog outfit went unused. He was stuck at home with me while his big sister got to trick or treat with her dad. "Oh well," I thought. "He doesn't really know what he's missing."

A year later, he got the chicken pox three days before Halloween. His adorable Darth Vader costume was worn around the house some, but the Dark Lord didn't get to go house to house asking for candy. He was too busy recovering at home, with a mom who kept stopping him from scratching all his itchy places.

Last year worked out better for the little guy. He had a cold, but I was determined to show him what Trick or Treat is all about. Luckily, it was warm that night. Finally, my little Thomas the Train got to experience Halloween the way kids should. And he LOVED it. He strutted all around the block, yelling "HIIIIII!" to every passerby. He threw a fit when it was time to head home.

It's not looking good this year, folks. Yesterday we learned that he again has pneumonia. And my little Batman (traditional Batman, not Dark Knight Batman) is once again home bound. It breaks my heart because this time around he has a pretty good idea of how Halloween operates. And when his big sister heads out the door to trick or treat, he's going to want to know why he can't go too.

So I'm trying to think of some neat things that Andrew and I can do Thursday night, while all the healthy kids are running around the neighborhood, begging for sugar. We'll probably eat our own fair share of sugar, straight out of the candy bowl that's meant for costumed visitors. Maybe we'll watch The Nightmare Before Christmas or Monsters, Inc. If I get to feeling froggy, I might even bake some cupcakes for us to decorate.

It's Deja Vu All Over Again...

2008-10-28T23:55:00.001-04:00

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

Mr. Yuk is Mean. Mr. Yuk is Green.

2008-10-21T20:31:00.005-04:00

Today my three-year-old came home with a Mr. Yuk sticker on his shirt. I learned about Mr. Yuk when I was in grade school. How wonderful that he's still around!

Need an inexpensive Halloween costume idea? Maybe Mr. Yuk can help!

Would you like a sheet of Mr. Yuk stickers for free from the Childrens Hospital of Pittsburgh? You can find out how, here.

I'll seize this opportunity to share some old-school Poison Control Center education. Enjoy!

The Maverick John McCain

2008-10-20T23:03:00.008-04:00

I've been inspired to offer my own very bad poetry, with the encouragement of Mr. Anziulewicz himself. While my poem doesn't follow the spirit of the originals, the structure is somewhat similar. But I think the message is timely.

(And he's right - this IS fun!)

The Maverick John McCain
(with apologies to "The Lady of Shallotte" AND "The Honorable Mayor Danny Jones")

This observant left-wing liberal must complain
about the Maverick John McCain.

Does he think the same old smear tactics will succeed?
That lying to the public is a need
For his campaign?
The maverick John McCain.

His performance in the polls was already failin',
So why in the world did he choose Sarah Palin?
Does he have a brain?
The maverick John McCain.

When he gets angry, the world starts thinking
"What the hell is UP with all that blinking?"
Can he explain?
The maverick John McCain.

He hides behind words like "ACORN" and "Ayers",
To distract from his HUGE tax breaks to millionaires -
How utterly profane!
The maverick John McCain.

He gets the basics wrong, wrong wrong.
To assert that our economy is strong?
Is he insane?
The maverick John McCain.

The Tape

2008-10-19T20:56:00.011-04:00

Way, way back in the fall of 1989, I started college. My first impression of my new roommate was that we couldn't possibly have anything in common. Camille was outgoing, popular, spoiled and pretty - where I was backward, awkward and annoyingly selfless. She already had an extensive social group in place, where I knew two other people on the whole campus. I did not think we would hit it off.

I was a HUGE Chris Isaak fan that summer, and until then, had not found anyone else who had even heard of him. Our second day as roomies, I came home to find her listening to Chris Isaak's Don't Make Me Dream About You. I then decided not to judge her so quickly. (Good thing too, because we became very close friends, even spending a year in New Jersey together as nannies.)

It turns out that she had a friend who worked at a record store. He loved two things: music and Camille. He did romantic things and said romantic things, but she just didn't feel the same way. I remember one time he made a banner that stretched around all four walls of our dorm room, and on it he wrote the complete lyrics to "Here I Am" by Lyle Lovett. She was flattered by the attention, but she just wasn't feelin' it.

(I went on to develop a crush on him, completing the pathetic love triangle that makes this story so painfully cliche.)

Anyway, she made me a copy of the mixtape he had given her, that included the Chris Isaak songs. The tape had about 20 songs on each side. Here are the songs I've been able to remember from it (hyperlinks all go to YouTube):

10,000 Maniacs - Trouble Me
BoDeans - Angels
BoDeans - Say You Will
Chris Isaak - Blue Spanish Sky
Chris Isaak - Don't Make Me Dream About You
Chris Stamey - Cara Lee
Crowded House - I Feel Possessed
dB's - Molly Says
Dukes of Stratosphear - Little Lighthouse
Elvis Costello - Are You Straight or Are You Blind
Elvis Costello - Coal Train Robberies
Fairground Attraction - Perfect
The Feelies - The High Road
Graham Parker - The Girl Isn't Ready
The Housemartins - Reverend's Revenge
House of Love - I Don't Know Why I Love You
Indigo Girls - Closer to Fine
Joe Henry - She Is Sleeping
Matthew Sweet - Love
REM - Talk About the Passion
The Replacements - Alex Chilton
The Stone Roses - I Wanna Be Adored
The Sugarcubes - Birthday
The Smithereens - Only a Memory
Til Tuesday - Limits to Love
Todd Rundgren - The Waiting Game
Voice of the Beehive - The Beat of Love
Voice of the Beehive - Don't Call Me Baby
XTC - Dear God

In 1995, the unthinkable happened. After years of heavy use, the mixtape broke.

I have tried and tried over the years to remember other songs that were on that tape. It's frustrating, because I can remember that there are songs....that I can't remember. One was about a guy taking a train to be reunited with his lady. Another, I could swear, was called "Love Love Love", but I have never been able to find anything from that era with that title. The older I get, the harder it is to remember these kinds of things.

And the truly obsessive-compulsive part of me wants to remember what order the songs were in on the tape.

*cackles*

It's a Small Internet After All

2008-10-12T22:30:00.005-04:00

While catching up on my electronic correspondence this evening, I noticed an ad on the right-hand side of my gmail screen that intrigued me. It said:

So I clicked. And I liked it. In fact, I decided to pull up a list of all the poems, and peruse the whole collection. I enjoyed this one:

Haiku #1

Andrew Moisey
Pretty motor home
Painted like a Dixie cup
Daddy don't make meth.

Wow! So many cool, irreverent poems! Submissions from all over the world! So you can imagine my surprise when I found this poem:

Questions about Danny Jones Mayor of Charleston, WV

Chuck Anziulewicz
(with apologies to "The Lady of Shallotte")
The Charleston City Council hereby intones
A few questions about the Honorable Mayor Danny Jones.

When he was a child, did he enjoy playing with blocks?
When he became angry, did he start throwing rocks
or STONES?
The Honorable Mayor Danny Jones?

When hungry, does he reach for a box full of Triskets?
For breakfast, does he prefer gravy and biscuits
or SCONES?
The Honorable Mayor Danny Jones?

Did he ever drink to excess and chase after strumpets?
In a brass band, do you think he would favor the trumpets
or the TROMBONES?
The Honorable Mayor Danny Jones?

Does he agonize over all his past sins?
As a parent, do you think he would prefer to have twins
or create CLONES?
The Honorable Mayor Danny Jones?

Are his boots fastened with buckles, his briefcase with clasps?
Does the city council often greet his poetry with gasps
or with GROANS?
The Honorable Mayor Danny Jones?

First, I want to know, who is Chuck Anziulewicz? Methinks he is a literary genius. Is he a native of Charleston? If so, is he still hangin' around here? I'd like to see more of his poetry. Could he write a doggerel about the world travels of Don Blankenship and Spike Maynard? Maybe a limerick or two about the many businesses of Virgil Sadorra?

Could It Be?

2008-10-09T16:17:00.006-04:00

I got an email from the WV Democratic Party today, saying that in a recent poll taken by the American Research Group, Barack Obama is ahead by eight (8) points in West Virginia!!

Could it be? Is it possible that the state which gave him such a sound trouncing in the primaries has come to its collective senses?

I'm not going to delude myself into a victory dance just yet. But to know that it's possible is encouraging.

Coal River Mountain Watch on CNN

2008-10-07T06:18:00.005-04:00

I am so thrilled to see these folks getting national coverage! Our local MoveOn Council were privileged to have quite a few Coal River Mountain Watch members support our Rally for Clean Energy.

Here's the story on CNN.com. And here's the video that goes with that story.

If you agree that green jobs and green energy are what we need to carry West Virginia into the 21st century, please call Governor Joe Manchin at 888-438-2731, or email him using this link. Tell him:

Coal River Mountain in West Virginia has enough wind potential to provide electricity for over 150,000 homes and create 50 well-paying, good jobs, forever. The proposed wind farm would also help diversify the local economy in an area historically dependent upon sparse, temporary coal mining jobs. This opportunity depends upon the mountain being left intact.

We feel you could do no better than to highlight Coal River Mountain, and to lend your full support for the development of a utility-scale wind farm as an economically viable alternative to Massey's proposed 6,000+ acre mountaintop removal operation that is currently planned for the mountain.

By supporting this project, you will show both the state and the nation that you are truly committed to diversifying West Virginia's energy portfolio, and that you are willing to make tough choices in order to ensure the future of energy production and strong economy for the state and nation.

Listen to Them! They're Celebrities! They Know What They're Talking About!

2008-10-01T21:23:00.000-04:00

The Bush Legacy Tour Bus: Charleston, WV

2008-09-24T19:53:00.006-04:00

Today my husband and I went downtown to see the Bush Legacy Tour Bus. As we walked toward Spyro's parking lot on Dickinson Street, the first thing I noticed was a group of protesters, gathered across the street. I whole-heartedly respect protesters. It takes a strong belief in your cause to make signs, organize a rally, and pull off a protest. These protesters were Bush fans. The funny thing is, the bus itself wasn't really in a highly visible area. The people who were protesting the bus actually brought more attention to it.

I was very impressed by this bus. They put as much information as possible into the interior. There were sections on the environment, the Iraq War, Hurricane Katrina, the economy, education and health care. They even put a timeline on the floor of the bus.

The display about Katrina was very disturbing. As was the piece on the economy. And the war. Yeah, it was all very alarming.

Contrary to what I first thought, this tour bus doesn't focus solely on President Bush. The bus and the accompanying website state:

"What the polls don’t tell us is that in truth, the failures of the last eight years cannot be chalked up to one man – and that means they won’t necessarily be turned around when he leaves office. The war in Iraq, the floundering economy, the tragedy that befell New Orleans, were the failures of conservative ideology. And they were the failures of every one in Congress who cheerleaded for and happily rubber-stamped the President’s conservative agenda."

The bus was only in town for two hours today. And I don't think it was advertised enough. If I hadn't gotten an email from Patriots for Peace, I wouldn't have known about it.

I Love Pie Charts

2008-09-14T14:45:00.003-04:00

Pundit Kitchen Makes Me Laugh....Again!

2008-09-11T19:53:00.001-04:00

Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight

2008-09-06T16:58:00.007-04:00

I've often wondered why some things affect me more than they affect others. I'm very uncomfortable in crowds. Prolonged eye contact is very awkward for me. I'm easily distracted by noise when trying to concentrate. I cringe inside when touched by an unfamiliar person. I always just assumed that I was less tolerant and overly sensitive, or at the very least, quirky.

Since I've started reading "Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight" by psychologist Sharon Heller, I'm starting to understand that these are symptoms of Sensory Defensive Disorder. Interestingly, this disorder is associated with the autism spectrum.

When my son was fortunate enough to receive services from WV Birth-to-Three, his occupational therapist treated him for Sensory Processing Disorder. He was put on a sensory diet which included chewing toys. At the time I assumed it was because he bit other children in the toddler class, and this was a way to redirect his teeth. I've since learned that clenching the jaws and teeth can relieve stress. I've found that chewing on a pen actually helps me to relax and let go of tension.

I always saw the phrase "Sensory Processing Disorder" associated with children, whether in books or online. I figured this was something people outgrew. I now know that it's not something you leave behind, but as you get older you have more control over your environment. Example: I used to hate walking in the halls between classes at school. It was so crowded and loud - I would feel physically ill. As an adult, I hadn't felt that way in years (I go out of my way to avoid crowds), and then went with my daughter to the middle school open house a few weeks ago. When surrounded by people in that hallway, feeling some stranger breathing on my neck, I almost had a panic attack. I had to duck into a classroom and regroup.

Another way I've learned to deal with sensory stressors is with music. I'm so much more productive at work if I can plug into my headphones and tune out the distracting voices, phones, and other noises common in an office. The downside, of course, is when someone comes up behind me, and gets my attention by touching my shoulder.

A good two-thirds of this book is devoted to coping strategies. The more I read, the more I understand why I react to certain things the way I do. If you can identify with this post, I highly recommend this book.

Jon Stewart is my god

2008-09-04T18:04:00.003-04:00

He's never 'not funny and insightful'. In fact, he entertains as he educates. Why isn't he running for president??

Good Food, Bad Spelling

2008-08-28T18:55:00.006-04:00

Pop Quiz: Name the local downtown eatery (which is NOT known for giving service with a smile) that gave us this mandate:

If you know the place I'm talking about, be advised that they have posted a new sign. Tina and I noticed it today, at lunch, and it cause quite a stir for us.

We were amazed that the sign makers didn't notice the error. We were further flummoxed that nobody who worked at the restaurant saw the misspelling. While standing in line, waiting to order, we debated whether or not we should point it out to the staff. It would be a bad idea to do so before getting our food (lest they do something gross to it). And to mention it on our way out just seemed...tacky. So we kept our mouths shut.

I will add, just so you don't think I'm bustin' on this place, they serve up some of the best lunch fare you can get in downtown Charleston. (Tina introduced me to the eggplant/rigatoni combination, which is heavenly.)

AND I've heard through the grapevine that the Obama campaign is opening an office two doors down from there. It's supposed to be open by Monday. Huzzah!

Linkdomfulnessssitude

2008-08-25T21:00:00.000-04:00

This is one of the more entertaining blogs I've found in awhile. It's officially known as "Cake Wrecks: when professional cakes go horribly, hilariously wrong."

- - -

If you ever want to be hypnotized, this is a good place to start. The music and graphics are completely computer generated, surely based on some sort of math. It reminds me of watching Dr. Who, old school.

- - -

Speaking of Dr. Who, I have become a fan of the latest series, which is shown on BBC America. My favorite episode thus far has been Blink. It's a story that involves time travel and moving statues. Did I mention that the statues are evil?

- - -

Lastly, anytime I need a smile, I go to the Best of Craigslist. It never disappoints.

Successful Rally!

2008-08-23T10:25:00.007-04:00

This past Tuesday, the Charleston area MoveOn.org Council hosted a 'Rally for Clean Energy' near the State Capitol. Several members of locally based environmental groups lent their support in our effort to get the word out.

At one point during the rally, I counted 51 people! How awesome is that?? We had enough people to man all four corners at the intersection of Greenbrier and Washington Streets. I got to meet some new local progressives, and I hope to work again with them very soon.

The three local television stations showed up, as well as two independent videographers, who were each working on their own documentaries about the coal industry in Appalachia. I caught the piece that ran on WVAH, but did not see anything about the rally on the other two stations. We were able to get the message out that John McCain, if elected president, would give almost $40 billion in tax breaks and subsidies to Big Oil. What we need is to funnel that money toward clean energy technology for a long term solution to our energy crisis.

Thanks to Paul D. for these pictures from the event. I'm still hoping to get video and additional pictures from other attendees. If you're interested in getting involved with the local MoveOn.org Council, feel free to contact me.

Get Your Rally On!

2008-08-16T08:10:00.005-04:00

MoveOn Charleston - Rally for Clean Energy

Washington Street, near the Capital Building
(At the corner of Greenbrier and Washington Streets)

Tuesday, 19 Aug, 4:00 PM

People need to know how much the Republicans' Big Oil giveaways will cost us, and how we could better invest that money in a new clean energy economy. On August 19th, we'll release brand-new report findings and this will be one of hundreds of rallies to get the word out.

Right now, voters want real solutions to the energy crisis -- that means serious investment in alternative energy and green jobs. Meanwhile, the Republicans keep obstructing big changes and pushing for multi-billion dollar giveaways to Big Oil.

We've had enough. On August 19, MoveOn members around the country are joining in Rallies for Clean Energy to say: don't use our tax-dollars to subsidize Big Oil -- invest instead in a new clean energy economy.

We'll be joined by local members of the Sierra Club and Coal River Mountain Watch. It's going to be a great event, so grab your progressive sensibilities and join us!

Address: At the corner of Greenbrier and Washington Streets
Location: Charleston, WV 25311
Directions: Take I-64/I-77 to exit 99 (Greenbrier Street). At the exit, head down the hill, toward the Capital. We'll gather at the intersection of Greenbrier and Washington Streets.

Clean Energy, No Gimmicks

2008-08-10T20:37:00.004-04:00

This past Thursday, MoveOn.org held a 'rapid-response' event, "Clean Energy, No Gimmicks" at the Charleston Office of Rep. Shelley Moore Capito. We delivered a petition with 352 names of concerned citizens who live in the second congressional district of West Virginia, urging Rep. Capito "to offer real solutions to the energy crisis, not gimmicks like drilling." This was in response to the sit-in that House Republicans are staging in Washington, protesting the decision by Speaker Pelosi to block a vote on additional offshore drilling. Those of us who signed the petition believe that more drilling isn't going to bring gas prices down, it isn't going to affect the energy crisis in any productive manner, and it's only going to perpetuate our dependence on a finite resource - oil. And as long as we're dependent upon oil, we will be reliant upon the Middle East to provide most of it. We need renewable sources of energy, like the wind farm proposed by Coal River Mountain Watch.

When MoveOn.org says 'rapid-response', they ain't kiddin'. I got the call to coordinate this event at 7:30 pm Wednesday night. I sat in on a planning conference call at 9:00 pm, then prepared a press release and sent it out around 11:00 pm. The event was set for 12:15 pm the next day.

Due to the short notice, and based on turnout at our previous rally, my hopes weren't set very high. Had five people shown up, I would have been pleased. To my great surprise, we had twelve participants! One gentleman informed me that he had only heard about this gathering twenty minutes earlier! We were all fired up, and stood on the sidewalk holding our signs. We got a lot of honks in solidarity, especially from commercial vehicles.

A group of us went in, spoke briefly to a senior member of her staff, delivered the petition, and left.

We also got press coverage at this event too. WOWK, Channel 13 is my new favorite television station. They are the only station that covered both our MoveOn.org rallies and our club's Scrabble tournament earlier this year. Thank you, WOWK!

Our next MoveOn event will be on Tuesday, August 19, from 4 pm to 5:30 pm, at the corner of Greenbrier and Washington Streets, in Charleston, across from the Capital Building. It's a Rally for Clean Energy. I'll have more on that soon.

I Know That Song

2008-08-08T21:56:00.003-04:00

I found this gem on Transbuddha. Back in my self-loathing single days, this song was my anthem.

Creep - Scala

I am always fascinated when I hear a remake of a song, done in a completely different genre. Sometimes it works, but sometimes you end up with something like this. That's when my thought process goes from a contemplative "Hmmmm, I know I've heard this somewhere before" to "Oh my GOD, I can't believe this song could sound that bad!"

One of my favorite remakes is "Hungry Like the Wolf" redone by Reel Big Fish, lounge style. Think I made that up? Checkit, yo:

Four Kid Shows that Rub Me the Wrong Way

2008-07-30T19:03:00.006-04:00

They sure don't make television for children like they used to. While the quantity of programming has increased exponentially, I'm not sure that quality has kept up the pace. Following is a list of four kid shows that rub me the wrong way.

1. Dora the Explorer. I know that this children's show is educational. It teaches counting, creative thinking, problem solving, and so much more. I just wish they didn't say the same phrases four times in a row. I just wish they didn't say the same phrases four times in a row. I just wish they didn't say the same phrases four times in a row. I just wish they didn't say the same phrases four times in a row. See how annoying that is?

2. Max & Ruby. Okay, if I had first-hand knowledge about a six-year-old girl raising her three-year-old brother on her own, I'd be calling CPS in a jiffy. Oddly, the adults in Max & Ruby's neighborhood aren't concerned at all. Ruby would benefit from an antidepressant, I think. And Max needs to be tested for ADHD.

3. Blue's Clues. I'm sorry. Joe's a nice guy and all, but he just doesn't compare to Steve. I'm sure if I had met Joe first, we would have been great friends. But my allegiance lies with the one, the only....Steve. Come back Steve. Come back.

4. Spongebob Squarepants. The most annoying thing about this show is Spongebob's laugh. And even more annoying than that is the laugh of a coworker I hear every day, which sounds very similar. Hmmmmmm. Maybe my beef isn't with Spongebob after all. Note to self: invest in some good noise reducing headphones for use at work.

I just wish they'd bring back old-school Sesame Street and The Electric Company. Now those were some good shows! Anyone remember Space Giants? Schoolhouse Rock?

Freedom, Schmeedom

2008-07-11T18:59:00.001-04:00

Charleston, WV - Rally for an Oil Free President

2008-07-10T19:08:00.008-04:00

Dateline: July 9, 2008. 4:30 pm. A group of local progressives met at the corner of Greenbrier and Washington Streets to participate in MoveOn.org's Rally for an Oil Free President, and to educate passersby about John McCain's numerous ties to Big Oil. MoveOn held over 200 of these rallies nationwide that day.

The rally started with a bang. In the first ten minutes, I was interviewed by a reporter from a local television station, WOWK. We had a really great turnout, considering that the skies were very dark and ominous. Rain was imminent.

When the rain started, it was an immediate downpour. I hoped it would move through quickly, but it literally poured for the next 40 minutes. One of Charleston's progressive bloggers, One Citizen and his daughter came out to support the cause. They brought some very nice video equipment, hoping to get some footage of the rally to post on YouTube. Unfortunately, weather conditions did not allow that to happen.

We stood in the rain. We held our signs. We got our message out. In fact, we probably garnered more attention, standing there in the deluge. We were rewarded with quite a few drivers honking in solidarity. When it was over, we were all drenched, but we had a sense of accomplishment. And we were able to pose for a few pictures.

Happy Fourth of July!!

2008-07-04T12:07:00.002-04:00

I love my country. I'm not so crazy about the current status of government, but I do love my country.

To that end, I have signed up to host a Day of Action for an Oil-Free President run by MoveOn.org Political Action.

Big Oil has a new candidate for president: their friend John McCain. With 21 oil lobbyists running his campaign, John McCain won't solve our energy crisis.

So July 9th is our National Day of Action for an Oil Free President. At gas stations across the country, we'll reach out to local voters--and the media--with a clear message: the American people need an Oil-Free President -- and that is NOT John McCain. Host your own local outreach event or sign up for an event near you.

Host your own Day of Action for an Oil-Free President or sign up for an event near you.

You can sign up for the Day of Action for an Oil-Free President I'm hosting, or to host your own, at:
http://political.moveon.org/event/oilfreepresident/48229

Here are the details of my event:
Charleston Rally for an Oil Free President
Greenbrier and Washington Street (near the State Capitol)
Greenbrier and Washington Street
Charleston, WV 25301
Wednesday, 9 Jul 2008, , 4:30 PM

I hope you'll sign up.

Postermania

2008-06-21T10:03:00.019-04:00

I am a big fan of the posters that Shepherd Fairey has created for the Obama campaign. Here's the one that started it all:

The popularity of the style has spawned dozens of imitations. Here are a few that align with my political leanings. Scroll. Enjoy.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

2008-06-18T18:42:00.001-04:00

I came home to a very clean house today. All is well.

Cleanin' House

2008-06-17T18:59:00.002-04:00

I finally did it. I called and made the appointment to have my house professionally cleaned. It's something I've wanted (and needed) to do for a long long time. I resisted for various reasons -- most of all because I was too embarrassed to show my mess to other people, even those people who are being paid to clean it.

Note: this is NOT a picture of my house.

Another reason I put it off was the expense. Housecleaning services (at least the upfront licensed, bonded ones) are not cheap. But I had an epiphany earlier this year. I was given the option at work to 'cash out' my unused vacation time. I decided to do so, and to put that money toward a clean house. I could have taken the time off, but (a) it wouldn't decrease my workload OR my housework load, and(b) I probably would have ended up doing all the housework myself during those days off, anyway.

This has not been a walk in the park, however. Besides all the dust that has taken up residence in my home, we've slowly been suffocated by creeping clutter as well. Books - so many books. Magazines. Knick-knacks. Toys. Housecleaning services can't really deal with the clutter. So I've spent the last four or five days de-junking the house.

I've also asked my 11-year-old to rid her bedroom of anything she no longer wants. It's been somewhat traumatic for me to watch as she decides she's too old for all the toys she used to cherish, but this is a gateway for her. She's entering puberty, full force. Gone are the Barbies and Winx dolls. She has no more use for crayons and coloring books. Some of the bounty is being passed down to her 3-year-old brother, but for the most part, we're bagging stuff up and shipping it out the door.

I can't wait to come home from work tomorrow. It's going to be like Christmas!

Mispronounciation Pet Peeve #14

2008-06-13T21:18:00.003-04:00

I work with a very gracious lady, whose job is to take the physical files on hand, organize them, manage them, and update them.

Contrary to what I've heard another co-worker say, she is not a "foul" clerk.

In fact, she's very pleasant.

We Are Sinking!

2008-06-10T22:41:00.001-04:00

Words of Steel

2008-06-10T19:33:00.003-04:00

The Pittsburgh Scrabble Club (#352) held their first tournament in eight years this past weekend. There were four of us from the Charleston club (#620) who made the trek north to compete. Brad was placed in Division B, and the rest of us - Tina, Chris and myself - duked it out in Division C.

Excellent recaps of the event can be found here, here and here. I won't reinvent the wheel. Instead I'll share some random thoughts.

Nothing makes me more anxious about losing than a nice solid winning streak.
Placing in the money feels a lot more exhilarating than I thought it would. In fact, the taste of victory is almost as satisfying as the $300.00 I pocketed.
I love hanging out with really smart people.
Charleston needs a Joe's Crab Shack.
If you're in Coraopolis, and you head down Thorn Run Road on a cigarette run, DO NOT make a left at the light, onto University Blvd. You end up in frickin' SEWICKLEY. And in Sewickley, the rules of traffic are designed to make it as difficult to turn around as possible.
Pittsburgh players are tough! Each of my three losses were to Pittsburgh people.
At the first sign of a headache, pop about four ibuprofen tablets. Trust me on this one.
My good friend Terry wrote the best doggerel Ive ever heard in my life. If I get a copy of it, I'm posting it.
Joe Larson is one talented artist!! And a helluva Scrabble player.

Pride and Negotiation

2008-06-04T19:34:00.002-04:00

So I'm back on my 'no sugar/no starch' way of eating again, after a week of gluttony at the beach. One of my approved snacks is a handful of almonds, in the evening. My three-year-old ran up when he saw me pull out the almond can, and the following exchange occurred:

Three-year-old: (With a longing look) I want one.

Me: Okay. Here you go...

Three-year-old: I want two.

Me: Sure.

Three-year-old: I want three.

(By now my heart has swelled with pride that my boy can not only recite the numbers sequentially, he understands the concept of counting.)

Three-year-old: I want FIVE.

Okay. Now he's just being greedy. We settled on three.

Update: He popped them all into his mouth at the same time, decided they're 'yuck', and spit them out. Into my hand.

Errorist

2008-05-20T21:01:00.002-04:00

No explanation necessary:

Grammatical Error Pet Peeve #24

2008-05-19T23:44:00.005-04:00

It chaps my ass when someone, trying to express complete apathy about the topic at hand, says, "I could care less."

Think about it. If you could care less than you do right now, then you care some. You're not completely apathetic.

Come Undone

2008-05-18T17:58:00.001-04:00

(Forgive me if this post resembles a Beatles song.)

Is there anything a person can do that cannot be undone?

I ask this question after doing my usual weekend routine of laundry and light housekeeping. I get so disheartened and unmotivated to clean when I know that the results are temporary.

I wash clothes, only to find a new pile starting by the time I've put up the last of the clean stuff.

I vacuum out my car, but know that with all the pine trees by the driveway, it's only a matter of time before needles collect in the floor again.

I pick up the boy's matchbox cars and lego blocks. But this isn't going to save me from stepping on one in the next day or so.

Don't even get me started about the dishes.

And unfortunately, this phenomenon reaches far past domestic chores.

While on the job, I keep track of my billable hours, charting my progress through the month. On the first day of the next month, I'm back to 0.0 hours billed.

When I try my hand at watercolors, I always find myself back to staring at a blank canvas.

So again I ask, is there anything a person can do that cannot be undone? For once I'd like to accomplish something that is permanent. It would be a bonus if this thing were also meaningful.